Old Wedding Memories

I was inspirated from the movie of Bride & Prejudice(2004) .Martin Henderson who is famous New Zealand actor and Aishwarya Rai who is famous Indian actress played in this movie. The movie about one girl and boy whom are from different culture. That's why i decided to change the sorty and write about it. I wish you guys will enjoy it..



It was a very exciting day for me when my kurdish friend Zilan invited me to wedding party of her great friends Erman and Elif and wondered what should wear and how I should behave at a ceromony which would probably be very different from the family weddings that i had been before. I had met my friend at A.U.T and had learn from something about her culture. She had come to my house and was becoming more familiar with the Kiwi way of life. But i had not yet met her parents. She had told me that Kurdish people are very welcoming and that her family,bridge and groom were very happy that i was coming with Zilan and she came with me to choose my dress and stared my away from dresses that were much too revealing. Thank goodness ! Together we choose a modest but very pretty red frock in which i felt really good.
The day before the wedding day was particularly interesting Zilan explained that this is called 'henna day' where bride and her girlfriends celebrated her last day as a single woman I could not help thinking that may be all cultures have a way of saying goodbye to young people as a before they are married. I have been to several kitchen evenings and hand's parties for my friends who were about to get married. The guest who came to Elif's henna day were dressed in lovely bright clours with elaborate hair do's-most of them had long glossy black hair. They wore more jewelers then my friend and I normally wear. They welcome to me very warmly although I could not understand half of waht they said but smiles and hugs very sincere. And oww the food ! There were lots of different and to me,strange dishes I was surprised when a large cloth was spread on the flour and I was invited to sit down at edge of the cloth soon several of Elif's friend and family brought plate to each of us then steaming bowls of delicious looking food was brought in and served to us and we were invited to eat . I loved the Dolma which is a food for special occasions while we were eating the girls with better English asked questions for their friends and for themselves about how Kiwi's do things.

" do you have a henna day" they asked

I explained that we had the same idea of getting together before the wedding to share food and wish the bride well, but we did it a different way. We had kitchen evening where friends brought small gifts that the bride could use in her new home and hand's party where all the girls friends went out together for a meal or drinks or had a party at someone's house.

Zilan said " i don't think that all family go to your hand's part do they?

I said " no , only perhaps cousins or sisters its usually the bride's girlfriends.
I felt good because Zilan's friend were so friendly and wanted to know more about me and my culture.

Someone said shyly " Do you have a boyfriend?

I smiled and said " no, not aynone serious"
Pinar, a bride's mate said "would you prefer to get married to Kiwi or someone from another culture? "

By now I was relaxed enough to enjoy the conversation and though that these girls talked the same sort of things that I talk about to my friends. I answered,

" I think I would be happier with a Kiwi boy because he is from my own culture.

I usually talk about our cultural differences with Zilan and I know that Kurdish man are not so happy to help in the house. These days women are expected to work in New Zealand to help with financially. So they expected their husbands to share the housework. "

" How wonderful ! We can only dream of the day when Kurdish man do that even tough we both worked we would be expected to do everything in the house " said Pinar.

We talked about how Kiwi woman now make their own choice of husband. But i did explained to them that approximately 100 years ago parents still had control over who you could mary and many marriages were arrange especially in the upper classes in Europe.

" We've never had such a strict class system here" I said.
" But most parents still want their daughters to marry someone who will give them a good life"

Suddenly my head turned to my other side as I over heart part of remark made by bride to in an Indian friend who had asked her how she met the bride and groom.

" ohh..I 've known him all my life" she said " we are cousins"

I was shocked nobody I knew had ever married their cousin. i could not imagine myself marrying one of my cousin. They were a bunch of creeps!

I reaaly enjoyed henna day but i noticed when i glanced at the bride that she looked rather sad. I asked Zilan " why she sad so? " Zilan laughed and said " That's tradition..she has to pretend to be shy and scared "

I tought.."what the...! " . Finally henna day was over and I was really shattered.
When i saw my bed waiting for me I collapsed into it. The next day I just lazied around the house, thinking of all the things we talked about.The day after that was the wedding reception. it was to be a local hole from 7 o'clock to midnight. I took my dress and make up to Zilan's house in the morning and we all rushed about doing last minute jobs before the reception we went to the hair salon to have our hair and make up done when we were dressed and ready. The groom came in the bridal car with his friends following him. In their cars I didn't expect to be asked to join bride and groom bridal car. Because I knew that close friends shared that car. To my suprise they asked me to join them. I felt so honored and happy to be asked. I know that they must think of my as good friend. There was a lot of joking and happy chatter. I heart one guy talking in Kurdish and mentioning my name but no one explained what he was saying and I wondered if he looked done his noise at me which really bugged me !! "what a character.." I thought who does he think he is? I decided to ignore him and not let him spoel my evening. As he got out of the car this superior guy stumbled and nearly felt " serves you right "
I thought and turned away to hide my smile. It was getting dark when we had finished getting our photos taken. We got back in the cars and made our way to the hole. I was getting as exited as the bride and groom. I dont know wht made me so exiceted but I was really looking forward to evening.

When we got the hole i saw young people making arch with their arms and a man lighting sparkles that they held in the their other hands . Andbride and groom went through the arch laughing with their friends we all followed them under the arch amazingly ..!!

The superior guy went under the arch with me. At the end of the arch groom's mother was standing with the basket of coins and lollies. All the kids were waiting excitedly ! Then the groom's mother scattered coins, lollies and everyone laughed as they watched the children, rushing about gathering up these treasures it reminded me of lolly scrambles at parties I had been to when I was little. As the bride and groom walked to the middle of the hole.

I looked around at the guests I could see people from several cultures there.The bride and groom began to dance in the middle of the hole to a CD playing slow and romantic music the crowded formed a circled around them and again to my surprise ...

I found the same guy next to me he held out his hand with the a smile and suddenly he did not seem superior at all. I put my hand in his hand and we all began to dance I felt strange and shy while we were dancing.

He said " i know your name, my name is Roj". This was the first time he had spoken to me ..
I smiled at him but could not say anyting then music...



I'll continue...